I Want What They Have
by coelacanthis
Summary: Iawen, eldest of three sisters, and the daughter of Elrond. She has a longing for rich adventure, and what she got was an arranged marriage to Thranduil, the Greenwood King. Her sarcasm and his superior demeanor do not fit together.
1. Regina

Pain erupted in my side. _How could I have missed that? _I knelt over and grabbed my stomach. My heart was thumping out of my chest and it was becoming harder to breathe. I was trying to stay on my wobbling knees as the thick blood spilled onto my hand. I fell to the floor, my desperate, darting eyes looking for signs of an Elf. My sight was becoming blurry and I hadn't seen or heard any indication of anyone except for the grunts and yells of the orcs.

I looked down and saw a pool of crimson surrounding my body. I tried to unlatched the hooks on my coat to get closer to the wound but I was too weak; my fingers fumbled. The pain was consuming my brain; I couldn't think straight. W_here am I? Why am I here? How did this happen?_

I couldn't see anymore and my hand fell from my stomach. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, mixing with the sweat and blood that tarnished my face. That's when I heard it, the loud thumping of boots, they stopped in front of me. I heard the dark and demented laughter of an orc; my hopes of being saved vanished. More pain exploded in my side; it was excruciating.

I screamed as he continued to laugh. The orc pressed his boot harder into my open wound. I couldn't take it. _Just die, it will all go away, _I thought, _Just die, die, it will go away. _My eyes were flickering; the pain wasn't stopping anytime soon. My heart rate slowed as the throbbing in my side worsened. _Just close your eyes and it will go away; it's so simple._

Then it stopped and everything was gone.

* * *

Regina

* * *

"These are my three daughters, Pegneth, the youngest," he gestured toward a cheerful faced girl with a round face, freckles, and golden curly locks. She smiled up at me and flushed red, I bowed my head.

"Arwen, my midmost daughter," he then directed towards a very beautiful young elleth with brown wavy hair, fair skin, blue eyes, and tinted red lips, she smiled very politely at me, and I lightly bowed my head as always.

"And the eldest elleth," he gestured to a young woman with her dark brown hair in a long braid that trailed down her back. She had emerald eyes, and fair skin, just like her sister. She was wearing very modest clothing, which was unlike the dresses her other sisters wore. There was something quite peculiar about what she wore. Even though the collar was very high on her dress, she wore black fabric around her mouth and nose that covered up the whole lower half of her face; she was covered completely. No skin showed accept the top of her face. I had never seen an elleth wear something so strange. _Why the need to cover her face? Is she that unattractive? She can't be, she is the eldest daughter of Lord Elrond, _I thought. She bowed her head and I returned the gesture.

Lord Elrond looked at his daughters,"I will see you three at dinner," they all bowed their heads. I looked in the distance and saw the youngest girl link arms with the eldest, while Arwen stood off to the side as they walked away. The laughter of Pegneth was very audible. Elrond gestured me to follow him as he walked.

"I want you to marry one of my daughters, " He waited for my response, but I stayed silent, "and since Pegneth is too young, you can not marry her," I was getting hopeful. If I was to marry someone, Arwen seems like she would do fine, she would be a true wife, I did not want someone complicated.

"Arwen is the most beautiful in Rivendell, but she has much to learn. Though she may act wise, she can often misjudge a situation."

We stopped walking, we had entered a beautifully elegant room with many shelves of books, there were rows, and rows of them. It was a very open room, like most rooms in Rivendell, this one had a balcony that looked over the scenery. He walked over to the railing with his hands behind his back.

"It is best that Iawen is married off to you, King Thranduil," he looked back at me with and I continued to hold the same straight face. I turned around for a moment and thought, _If you marry, it will look better for Greenwood. But Then again do you need a pesky female following you around, bothering you? No. But It will make an impact on how individuals see my kingdom._

I turned back around, "I agree to this marriage."

Elrond put up his hand, "No, I want her to be married to you through time, I will not force her to marry you, I know you do not want to be married either. She shall be under your protection, but marriage is delicate," I thought for a moment at what he said, _Yes marriage is much different, and I see that Elrond is protective of her. _

"My decision has not changed, and I will not force her into anything. I have no interest in marriage. I assume you have told her already."

"I have just told her that she is becoming Queen, but I did not speak to her of marriage. I thought that this was best for her, she has always wanted to be free, go other places, I see it in her eyes, but I worry about her. I want her to be under the protection of another."

He walked away from the railing and looked more directly at me,

"Please excuse her dressing, she was born being sensitive to light," I bowed my head in response, my serious face concealing my curiosity, _Surely Lord Elrond would be able to cure that._

"Iawen, please come and speak with us, no need to hide."

* * *

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	2. Cor

Cor

* * *

I huffed and closed my book. I was tired of reading the same old books, the same adventures, the same plot, all without end! What bothered me most was how those people were able to go on adventures, and I was stuck here reading them. My father knows I wanted to go places, and yet he is sending me off to Greenwood. The king there is known to be ruthless and tough. I didn't tell Ada that I didn't want to move to Greenwood and become Queen, instead I went along with his request. I was just happy he didn't make me marry Thranduil. Then I would have surely disagreed. Marriage is delicate. But I have realized that Thranduil may want to be married eventually if I am to be Queen, and I will refuse.

I sighed and threw my book down on the daybed. Ada is leaving tomorrow, early, before I leave to Greenwood. I will miss him, but I'll miss Pegneth the most. I loved her, she was always happy, no matter what. Arwen was different, I loved her because she was my sister, but she thinks she knows everything.

I chuckled, I'll miss Rivendell, but I wanted an adventure. In a sense, I looked forward to moving away. I also have not seen my brothers, Elladan and Elrohir in a while either. I am beginning to miss them a lot. They are always off somewhere fighting in far off places. I wish I had the freedom they had.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone walk into the library. Lord Thranduil and ada came in talking softly. I rushed behind a shelf of books and tried to listen. But the only new information I learned was that Thranduil was very boring. I wanted them to leave, and the conversation seemed to be coming to an end.

"Iawen, please come and speak with us, no need to hide."

My stomach lurched, _Just my luck, _I thought as I slowly moved out behind the row of books. I suddenly became hyper aware of all my movements and I walked into the light.

I looked up at my father and then Thranduil. It suddenly became very hot under my many layers of clothing. He was very handsome, I had to admit, but I felt uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Hello Ada," I moved closer to my father, not making it obvious that I was worried, "King Thranduil," I bowed my head once more.

"Did you learn anything new by listening in on the conversation?" he looked at me with the same aged and serious face he always had. I suddenly felt embarrassed that I listened in; I shamed my father.

I was just about to speak when I was interrupted, "Lord Elrond, I had thought you said that Iawen was the eldest daughter," he calmly said and looked at me; his head tilted.

I ignored what he said, "No Ada, I only learned that King Thranduil is not as interesting as he pretends to be," I said just as calmly. I realized how hard it would be to live in the walls of The Woodland Realm with Thranduil.

I ate my dinner before anyone else, I always had to do this because of what I wear around my face.

Later, when I was called to join dinner with the others, Thranduil noticed how I wasn't eating anything and kept giving me curious glances, but I easily ignored them. I was surprised that he didn't confront me in the hall and question me, but then again I didn't care.

I woke up to the sound of song birds chirping outside; the light morning sun warming my face and bed. I sat up and looked out the balcony, _I should go somewhere with Pegneth today, _I thought, _Wait, ada is leaving early for business today! I might miss him!_ I lept out of bed, threw on my robes and flew out of my room. I was trying to run and get dressed at the same time.

"Ah!" I had ran into someone, "Oh! I am so sorry—" I looked up; Thranduil was looking back at me, "Oh," I straightened up, "Very sorry King Thranduil, please excuse me," I said and ran down the hallway

I caught my father just as he was leaving. He got down from the horse and I hugged him tightly, "I will miss you Ada."

He gave me a light smile, " I will miss you more. I wish you luck with your new home."

I released my grip from him. I stood and watched him leave on horseback.

* * *

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	3. Silva in Tenebra

Silva in Tenebra

* * *

After attempting to find Arwen, I spent the rest of the morning with Pegneth. I was trying to fit in as much time with her as possible. I dreaded leaving her. We had gone into the forest and I helped her practice with a bow and sword. I laughed at the thought, she had trouble holding the quiver straight. I remembered when I was that young; it was definitely more fun than being an adult.

It was almost noon and I needed to head off and find Thranduil. I swung my bag over my shoulder. I walked out the door and saw him standing at the start of the woods with two horses by his side, I walked over and climbed onto mine with struggle.

"You should have asked for help," he said.

I hesitated, not expecting him to speak to me,"I can usually get on," I lied. I am still not used to getting on horses, they are extremely uncomfortable.

"You are late," he said after he had mounted his horse.

I looked at him for a moment, _I don't want to be in this situation either, _I thought bitterly.

He was very attractive. I hated admitting this as I took in his straight blonde hair, blue eyes, sun kissed skin, and strong jaw.

"My King, but surely you realize that not everyone is as perfect as you," I said in response to his remark. I had decided that I would do my best to not be a willing servant the whole time I was with him.

We started of the journey at a slow pace, but as the sun started to set Thranduil had gone into a faster speed, "If we want to be there before twilight, we will have to move quicker," he yelled so I could hear him.

The long journey there was unpleasant. We were rained on multiple times, and the horses were extremely uncomfortable. At night we would set up camp, but I rarely saw Thranduil. Once he got off his horse he would go somewhere else. I tried to wait until he came back so I could sleep, but when he did come back, it was in the early hours of the morning. I always got worried that he might not come back, but he was always there when I woke up.

It had been a week and I was getting antsy, "How much further to Greenwood?"

I yelled as I tried to look at him and guide the horse at the same time.

He ignored me and looked ahead. At first I was confused, but then I looked forward as well and I realized that Greenwood was right in front of us. When we got there, the forest looked just as I had imagined it: dark.

"The horses need to go free, the forest will confuse them." Thranduil said.

I got off my horse and patted it, "She knows her way home, _Drego_!" I said and they were off.

I turned back around to face the forest. It was very tall, I had to tilt my head completely to look at it fully.

I didn't even notice that Thranduil had already started entering the forest, "Wait up!" I called after him. I heard many stories of Greenwood and how it was slowly losing it's beauty. I heard of the secrets it held: the dark depths of the unforgiving forest, the monsters that lurked in the shadows, the creatures that hid from light. Because of this I had thought Greenwood was a glum and a rundown forest; I had been foolish.

The trees twisted in odd shapes and angles and hung over the forest floor like a barrier. The trunks were a beautiful light brown that contrasted perfectly with the dark stone walkway. Leaves spotted the ground like freshly fallen snow. The air was cool under the shade of the trees, but their was something I couldn't quite put my finger on. There was a distinctive aura that compelled me to run off the path. As if there was something out in the forest longing to be found. I wanted so badly to go and look for it. Why would anyone care if I just ran off?

"Iawen!" Thranduil yelled.

I took in a sharp intake of breath. I didn't realise I had stopped walking. Thranduil was way ahead of me. I jogged forward to catch up, my breathing was labored by the time I caught up with him. _Damn, This cover is hard to breath through! _I thought as I fiddled with it.

He watched me as I struggled with my mask,"Just take it off," he instructed me.

I cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked through the fabric, "That's not something you should say to a lady you've only just met."

He tilted his head,"You shouldn't be ignoring a King's orders," he turned around and continued to walk.

A few minutes passed and I was still observing my surroundings. Once again my thoughts were interrupted, "I understand that you agreed on this marriage, correct?"

"No," heat rose to my cheeks, "We are not getting married, I am becoming Queen. That is a little different, don't you think?"

He continued walking, "You are just full of wit aren't you?"

"Yes."

He turned around, "Your father, Lord Elrond, told me his eldest daughter was to become Queen, not his youngest."

"I am the—"

"And don't you think," He carried on,"That it's a great disadvantage to me when there is going to be a Queen of Greenwood who isnt my wife?" His light blue eyes bore into my emerald ones.

When I didn't respond, he turned and continued walking. I huffed and followed behind him. I made sure to leave a good amount of space between us. _Oh, now I'm really not marrying you, _I thought to myself.

Just then I heard a rustling coming from the trees next to me. Thranduil hadn't seemed to notice this. I looked forward and tried to ignore the sounds. Then it happened again, but it was closer this time. My eyes were darting around for any sign of attack. The rustling got closer and closer, until it seemed like it was right next to me.

"Thran-!" I started to yell but then the rustling stopped, "-duil..." I breathed out as I looked at my surroundings questioningly; I relaxed and continued to walk.

That's when it happened, something screeched. I whipped around to come face to face with a giant spider; hissing and spitting. It lunged at me and I easily moved out of the way. _How is Thranduil not hearing this? _I retracted my dagger from my sleeve when it shot at me with its pincers. I slid under it to confuse it and then broke it's the back leg. Another shriek was let out. As it turned to face me, I turned, and in one fluid movement I stabbed it. I knew it was dead; _I _had stabbed it.

* * *

She was an infuriating child, not wanting to look at the truth. It did bother me that she was becoming Queen, but not becoming my wife. It didn't make sense at all. _Isn't that what a Queen is?_ She shouldn't have the authority of a Queen unless she is my wife. I didn't want to marry her, but I should not have to put up with her just because Lord Elrond thinks we should.

Though, I am curious as to why she wears that silly mask to cover her mouth. It didn't seem right; If she was sensitive to the light because of a skin disease Lord Elrond would be able to cure it. Whatever her charade is needs to stop. She has done nothing but laugh in the face of my authority since I've met her. Why didn't Elrond offer me to marry Arwen? She didn't seem at all childish, contrary to how he described her. Perhaps I was just being ignorant. My train of thought was disturbed when a high shriek filled the silence. I jerked my body around and I was surprised to see Iawen fighting a spider. As I watched, I noticed how much agility she had. She seemed like a completely different person; she was completely concentrated.

I continued to watch the scene unravel as she continued to block the enemies strikes. I was even more impressed when she slid under it and broke its leg with her dull dagger. Then I realized that I wasn't helping her at all, _She doesn't deserve help, _I thought bitterly. Once she killed it, she looked in my direction; her eyebrows furrowed. I could understand how it would be irritating to see me standing here watching her, but she could have tried to yell at me for help.

She put her dagger away and walked towards me; still angry. I turned around and continued to walk before she said anything.

* * *

_**What do you guys think of Iawen? I like her.**_

_**Thank you guys, and don't forget to review!**_


	4. The Palace

The Palace

* * *

I didn't really mind that I didn't get help with killing the spider, it was just frustrating to see him standing there watching me. We once again started the trek to the Palace and I was beginning to wonder if there even was one. It was starting to get noticeably dark, and I didn't want to see how the forest looked at night. I began to walk quicker and I went in front of Thranduil,

"I would prefer it if you would walk behind me."

"Don't worry, I can protect myself."

"Yes, I am sure that butter knife will suffice."

I laughed and looked over my shoulder,"Well, you're not much help either."

"We are here."

"Hm?" I jerked my head forward.

The entrance looked just as extravagant as the forest, just as beautiful. If the entrance looked this detailed, surely the inside must be even more elegant. He walked in front of me as I slowed down my pace to look at the detailing. When I saw that he wasn't slowing down, I hurried up. As the huge doors opened, my jaw dropped; It was the most divine thing I had ever seen, the palace must have surely been made for Gods. The forest was miniscule compared to this, the ceilings must have touched the sky. A stream ran under the bridge, and there were staircases twisting up huge columns. It was just as dramatic as the King who lived here. It also shared the same aura as the forest, the aura that encouraged my already extreme curiosity.

I followed him over the bridge and through a hallway. Many elves bowed at him, but once he passed they gave me curious looks. He stopped and talked quietly in Sindarin to a guard. I would have been paying attention, but I was still looking around, marveling at the size of the Palace.

After a minute of talking, the guard came over as Thranduil kept on walking,"I am busy and have to get back to work, the guard will show you to your rooms," Thranduil said without looking at me and walked off; I sighed.

"This way, please, Miss," The guard gestured for me to follow him.

I smiled at him so it wouldn't seem that I was as serious as Thranduil, but then realized he couldn't see my smile.

We walked up many flights of stairs. It seemed like it had been days when we finally got to a main hallway. The hallway was just as elegantly crafted as the entrance hall, but it seemed more open. A soft natural glow filled the hall; it was very welcoming. The guard continued to guide me down the long hall. We eventually stopped in front of two doors.

"These will be your rooms," he opened the doors, "The King has instructed me to tell you to stay in your rooms, and to not leave unless instructed," I rolled my eyes, _I'm not a pet, _I thought.

"Thank you," I smiled, though I was irritated with that order.

I watched as the guard left and walked down the long hallway. I walked through the big doors and closed them behind me. I turned around to face my room; It was very big, but it was very quaint, and not as radiant as the rest of the Palace. It had a huge balcony equipped with light colored curtains. The bed was extremely big and plush looking. The whole room seemed to be very natural and all the furniture was made of dark wood.

There were two other rooms attached to the bedroom: a closet and a washroom. I first went into the walk in closet, it was very large, but I assumed it was also for changing outfits. The washroom was very clean looking and everything was made of white marble, the bath was also extensively big. I went back into the bedroom and looked at it once more. I looked over at the polished wooden desk and decided to write a note to my sisters. In the note it explained how serious Thranduil was, and how he neglected to help me kill a spider. It also described in detail the forest and the Palace. Then I talked about more boring things, like the ride here. At the end I told them how I missed them. It was all very sentimental, I know; not my style.

When I finished, it was extremely late, but I still wanted to send the letter as soon as possible. _They must have a messenger. I need to go look for them, but Thranduil told me to stay in my rooms, _I smirked, _No, the guard told me to stay in my rooms, not Thranduil, _I took my letter and happily exited the room. I walked through the hallway, down the winding stairs, into the main hall, over the bridge, and to the front doors. I eventually found a messenger near the entrance, but it took longer than expected. I took a little longer on my way back to admire the area completely. Even though I was very cautious I still managed run into Thranduil. He was talking to three other elves; he looked distracted. I tried to look for any sign of escape, but there were no other doors in the hallway. I guess my worried expression caught the attention of the other elves. They looked my way and that triggered Thranduil to look at me as well. I cursed at my luck. When he saw me, he tilted his head to the side and gave me a stiff smile that told me that I was in hot water. He quickly turned back to the elves and dismissed them. When they were gone he made his way over to me,

"I instructed you to stay in your rooms," he raised his eyebrows and looked down at me.

"Your guard told me to stay in my rooms. If it was really important for me to stay in my rooms, _you_ could have told me. In the meantime, it would make this whole situation easier if you would refrain from treating me as your pet," I knew that I shouldn't be being so defiant to him, but sometimes I am an idiot.

"You are a child," he said still looking down at me, "You were instructed to stay in your rooms because I knew you would get in the way. When the elves in my Palace see a strange woman wandering around, they will become sceptical. Your Queenship isn't supposed to be announced until we are _married._"

I looked at him directly, "We are not getting married, _ever. _You might as well announce it now."

"Very well," He said and walked away before I could make a dramatic exit.

I went quickly to my rooms, and layed on my bed. How do men manage to be so infuriating? They feel like they need to control of everything. They should feel lucky that they have the right to do whatever pleases them. They are the ones who get to go on wonderous adventures in books, not the women. The women are the ones captured and then saved by the knight in shining armour. I want to be the one going on the adventures, not the one being saved, but I can't just go and fight dragons, or go on journeys.

I want what they have. I want their freedom.

I sighed as I remembered how late it was. I got off the bed and walked into the closet. I shed my clothes and tried to find appropriate nightwear. Once I found something, I took out my braid; My dark hair flowed over my shoulders and down my back like water. I went into the washroom and looked in the mirror. I rarely looked in the mirror, it just brought back memories I would prefer to forget. My eyebrows furrowed as I took of my mask,

_Disgusting, _I thought and turned away.

* * *

_**Iawen is so difficult to write because I'm trying to keep the perfectness of an elf, but also give her some personality. Thanks guys, and don't forget to review!**_


	5. Complications

Complications

* * *

_It's been two weeks since the trip back to Greenwood,_ I thought as I sat lazily on my throne and drank from a goblet filled with red wine. While I drank, I watched the water in the stream that went through the Palace.

Somedays I would much prefer to be the water in a brook than be a King; like today. I took another sip of wine as I contemplated recent events: Spiders are slowly moving into Greenwood, along with numerous other creatures, and I have no idea why they are coming down in such large numbers. We continue to kill them, and yet they still come down from the North Mountains.

I looked down at the goblet and realized that it was empty, I picked up the bottle and filled the cup up to the brim; It was now my eighth drink.

Greenwood is slowly being recognized as a mirk and gloomy place, _Might as well call it Mirkwood,_ I thought spitefully.

My father would be ashamed if he knew that his son was having trouble keeping simple creatures out of his forest. But it is foolish to think that since he has been dead for years.

I continued to drink from by goblet in great swigs; the bottle soon became empty. Sleep seemed to be catching up to me and I surrendered to the tiredness that was nagging at my brain. I got up from my throne and walked up to my rooms.

On the way there, my thoughts went to Iawen, which made my mood worse. She needs to understand that I would prefer not to be married, she thinks she is the only one. But Lord Elrond foresaw it, so it must happen. I have never met someone with so much defiance towards me, everyone usually acts scared of me. They never act normal: always apologizing, a lot of bowing, and making extra caution of what they say. Iawen is probably the rudest elleth I have ever met, but it's comforting to know that she is acting normal. This does not mean I like her more, I would prefer it if she wasn't so blunt.

I entered the hall which my rooms were in and walked up to my doors. Before I entered I stared at Iawen's door, expecting her to come out of her room at any second. I turned back around and went into my rooms.

I walked over to my desk and sat down. I tried to write letters to different tribes asking for their assistance with handling the creatures without sounding like I was begging. My writing was blotchy and there were many grammar mistakes; I gave up. I stood up and pinched the bridge of my nose. _I need to sleep, _I thought as I went up the winding stairs and into my bedroom. I took off my crown and put it on the nightstand. I laid on the bed and fell asleep.

I woke up groggy and still wearing the same robes as the day before. I got ready for the day and exited my rooms.

Iawen was leaving just as I was; I did my best to ignore her and keep walking, "Good morning to you, too," she said with a cocked eyebrow. I wasn't going to say good morning back so I just looked down at her.

She sighed,"I heard you coming back late last night, I didn't realize you actually slept," I could see her grin under her mask.

"Might I ask what you were doing up so late last night? Were you waiting for me just so you could bother me today, perhaps?" I asked.

"No, no, I was up all night crying myself to sleep over what you said to me yesterday," she said in mock sadness. I continued to look at her with a serious face.

She laughed,"You were drinking, were you not?"

"Certainly not." I tilted my head, _How could she have known?_

"I think you mean certainly _yes_."

"_Ego!_" I commanded.

"You are saying that because I'm right," her grin became extremely obvious.

"I am the King, I can use it whenever I feel suitable. You keep ignoring my orders," my eyebrows furrowed.

"Ah, but I'm the Queen and—"

"You become Queen when we are married. You said yourself that you had no interest in being married, which is denying Queenship."

"What, do you actually want to be married to _me_?" her sarcastic tone had vanished.

"You have to realize that I have no interest in being married to anyone, but there are pros to marriage that I will not share with you at the moment, it will lead to useless bickering."

She huffed and and crossed her arms, "You are despicable."

"You still need to stay in your rooms." I said.

"I'm not your _pet_," she replied.

All we have been doing was bickering every time we tried to talk, and I know that it is partly my fault; my personality is not the most compatible. I would like to tell her why I thought marriage is an option, but I fear she will get angry at me again.

I went down to the cellar to drink more wine, though I was procrastinating work. What I had gotten myself into was a mess, I should have declined Lord Elrond's proposal completely. Iawen was distracting me from the real problem at hand. The real problem being the mess that Greenwood was becoming. The people thought Greenwood was becoming twisted, which was not at all how it used to be depicted. The infestations started just recently, but we should have a solution by now. If I were to marry the daughter of a neighboring Elven tribe, the people of Middle-Earth would pay attention to the marriage, not the growing problem at hand. But I don't want either, I haven't been had a marriage proposal since I was still prince, and even then it was arranged by my father. I sighed as I discarded the empty wine bottle.

* * *

_Thunk_

My arrow hit directly in the middle of a tree; I always shot arrows when I was trying to think. I lowered my mask so I could breathe better. I had come up with numerous reasons why it would be helpful to Thranduil to be married, but only one theory made the most sense.

_Thunk_

I realized that strange things have been happening in Greenwood lately, which has triggered strange rumors. Thranduil has probably been stressing out about that the most. So why would marriage help?

_Thunk_

Maybe, it would make him feel better? I made a disgusted face. Thranduil doesn't seem like that sort of ellon.

_Thunk _

Another direct hit. The reason had to be completely obvious, something I would think of. I stopped shooting and put a hand on my sweaty face. If rumors were starting concerning the forest, he wouldn't want that to happen. So, he would need to distract people, with a _distraction_, with a marriage. I turned around to face the tree and shot another arrow.

_Thunk_

Yes! How could I not have thought of that? He needed me as a distraction! Well, not exactly me, but he wanted to use marriage to distract people from the murkiness of Greenwood. I could see how he thought I would take that the wrong way. I probably would have started yelling at him if he did tell me that. I sat down on the leaves that were littering the ground. Now I'm really conflicted. I really didn't want to be married, but I wanted to help Thranduil. I didn't love him, though. I had no interest in being married to someone I didn't love. And he doesn't want marriage either. Maybe there was another way I could help him. I could try and find out why their are strange creatures coming into Greenwood, or I could put in my effort in killing them off. But that was not really a distraction. I sighed and got up from my position. I was going to find him and talk to him about our current situation. I lifted the fabric over my mouth again and started walking.

I entered the Palace and started to look for him. I looked in all the obvious places, like the throne room, his study, everything. I then started to ask the guards and passing elves; they didn't seem to know either. _Where would a King under stress go to? _Well, there was a lot of places, like the forest, but I was just there and I would have heard him. A forest is where I would go, and I'm a woman, so where would a man go if he was under stress? Then I had an epiphany for the second time that day, _The wine cellar. _Yes, he was an elf, so I'm sure he had plentiful of wine.

I asked for directions to the cellar; I was still new to the palace. I raced down the steps. I knew I had gotten there when I could detect the faint smell of wine. I turned a corner and I was there.

I was shocked when I saw Thranduil actually drinking. Sometimes I forgot that he actually did normal things.

He was sitting in a relaxed crossed legged position, as he normally would on his throne. He didn't have his crown on which surprised me a bit. He was drinking out of a rather large goblet; he had empty bottles at his side. He continued to look straight ahead. I smirked, I guess he was more stressed than I had thought.

"Do you have white wine?" I asked stepping onto the landing.

"Third shelf."

I went over and selected a white wine that was made in Esgaroth, per usual. Thranduil was facing out from the table, so I took the precaution of sitting at the seat behind him at the table I did this because I really wanted to drink, and to do that I would have to lower my mask. I decided to drink straight from the bottle instead of pouring it. I lowered the cover and took a swig of wine; the fruity taste spread out on my tongue and throughout my mouth.

I looked down at the empty bottles at his feet,

"How are you not tired yet?" I asked marveling.

"Practice," he said and I laughed.

Those were the only words we shared as we drank bottle after bottle until it was dinner. I had become extremely tired and decided to skip it.

I shoved my mask back onto my face, got up, and left groggily. Thranduil was still in the cellar when I left, and I had a feeling he knew that I wasn't wearing my mask. I was grateful that he didn't turn around. I also realized that he took a day off from being King _just_ to drink. I chuckled and went into my room. I fell onto my bed without changing. Eh, at least I got to bed early.

It wasn't until morning that I realized that I hadn't talked to Thranduil about the marriage situation. It took a great effort to get off the giant plush bed and get ready. I quickly changed, loosely re braided my hair and left my rooms. It was already late, so I didn't expect Thranduil to be leaving his room now. I walked until I entered the main hallway, I was lucky to see him walking in my direction,"_Hîr vuin_!" I yelled out and caught his attention and then walked up to him.

"_No_?" He asked and tilted his head.

"My lord, I wanted to talk you about the marriage, I have figured out what you didn't tell me yesterday."

He tilted his head, " How so?"

"I know that you want to be married to distract people from the recent events concerning Greenwood."

He raised his eyebrows,"Yes, I thought you might have taken it in a way that I did not mean."

"If you had told me I would have taken it the wrong way. I do understand, but once again, I cannot be married. I still want to help in any way I am able."

"No, stay out of danger."

I frowned,"Then how am I supposed to help?"

"You won't."

And with that, he was gone. I stood there for a moment, _I offered him help and yet he refused. _I was extremely dumbfounded, _I thought he wanted help, but once again I am wrong._

* * *

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	6. Secret Memories

Secret Memories

* * *

I screamed and shot up in bed. _Another nightmare,_ I thought shakily as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. I have been plagued with nightmares for as long as I could remember. It was not a dream though, it was a memory; the memory I desperately wanted to forget.

It was still dark out, but I couldn't seem to lull myself back to sleep. I got out of bed, changed and walked out into the forest. It was so beautiful out, I couldn't resist.

A breeze swept by picking up the earthly scent of Greenwood; I breathed in. Even though it had only been a short amount of time, Greenwood was slowly becoming my home.

I continued to walk as I sang a song my mother used to sing to me when I was young. I miss her, I hope she is happier where she is now.

I heard rustling and I hoped that it wasn't a spider again; It wasn't. As I kept walking, I saw it. At first I didn't know what it was, but then I realized that it was an elk; It was absolutely beautiful. I put my mask down so I didn't confuse it and approached it slowly.

It stopped eating and looked up at me with its big black eyes. I took my gloves off and gently touched its nose. When it didn't object, I went closer and began to pet it. I smiled when it grunted and moved closer to me. I looked up at the large antlers and admired them.I had seen many elk before, but this had to be the largest one I had ever seen. I was startled when I heard someone walking over; I quickly ducked behind a tree.

"I know you are there," Thranduil said in Elvish.

"I didn't realize it was you, my lord. I thought you were an intruder," I covered up my face and stepped out behind the tree, "Is the elk yours?" I asked.

"Yes. I received him as a gift," He said looking at the elk.

"Hm," I nodded and walked closer, "You seem to have the habit of staying up into the early hours of the morning," I added.

"Your outburst woke me," he said looking directly at me.

I felt extremely embarrassed. I had forgotten that my chambers where near his,"I am truly sorry; I am plagued with night terrors," I said turning red.

"I suspected as much," he said and I looked away; remembering the dream.

He noticed that I was shaken and walked over to me. I then noticed how tall he was, and I thanked my above average height, "I am curious to know what your dreams are about."

I tried to think of a lie I could tell him, but I was never good at lying,"I— They are—"

He gently lifted my chin to look at him. I was doing my best to not look at him,"I can't help but think that you are keeping something hidden," he said still keeping my head in place. He didn't seem mad, but curious.

"Please stop. It is not in your right to know," I said and released myself from his grasp.

"You're father left you in my care, I have all the right to know," he said.

"Stop!" I cried, "Please, stop," I said more gently. My hands were cold. I hated acting like this,"I will take my leave," I said and bowed. He stayed silent as I left.

* * *

_**Aw, so cute. **_

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	7. Lavanor

Lavanor

* * *

I always went into the courtyard in the morning, and since today was particularly nice, it would be a criminal not to go outside. I had attended one of many festivals the night before, and to my surprise, Iawen had attended also. We haven't been exchanging in much conversation since her outburst in the forest a week ago.

I sat on a bench and began to read a book that I had grown a liking to. It was fictional, which I generally didn't prefer, but this one was particularly good. I looked up for a moment and saw Iawen sitting nearby. I got up and walked over to her. She seemed to be daydreaming, something I noticed she does frequently. I sat down next to her without silently. She seemed strangely relaxed as I sat there studying her.

Then, I remembered the night in the forest,"Can you sing for me?" I asked still looking at her.

She turned towards me, eyes open wide,"Oh, no. Sing? No, I do not sing," her face flushed red.

"Do not lie. I heard you sing in the woods."

"Then I feel bad for you," she replied.

My lip curled upwards at her remark, "I would like to hear you sing." I said more directly. She gave me an apprehensive look, and then looked forward.

She began to sing softly in Sindarin,

_Ngil cennin eriel vi_

_Menel aduial._

_Glingant sui mîr_

_Síliel mae._

_Ngil cennin firiel vi_

_Menel aduial._

_Dûr, dûr i fuin_

_Naenol mae._

_An i ú nathant_

_An i naun ului_

_A chuil, anann cuiannen_

_A meleth perónen._

She was very talented at singing, more than I would like to admit. She sang very softly and fluidly; like water.

"My mother, Celebrian, used to sing to lull me to sleep when I was very young," she said.

"That is a very sad song to be singing to a child," I said.

She smiled, "I didn't pay much attention to what it meant, I was paying attention to how she sang it; it was always so beautiful," she looked down at her hands in thought.

"You have your mother's green eyes," I said quietly.

She looked at me, eyes wide, "And undying wit," I added. She laughed and looked up at the sky again.

I stood up and looked down at her, "I would like you to start taking my invitations to dinner"

"You know I won't eat anything if I go," she replied gently.

"Not going is ignoring my orders, and I have been very tolerant with you denying them."

"If I can't eat anything, then it shouldn't matter if I accompany you."

"You will do as I say, whether you like it or not," I said.

* * *

I was going to protest, but we were interrupted by a guard. I started daydreaming as Thranduil and the guard were talking. It wasn't until the guard was walking away that I looked at the his face. He wasn't wearing as much armour as the other guards. In fact, he looked quite familiar, "Lavanor?" I got up from my seat and smiled at him.

Both Thranduil and Lavanor looked at me with confusion, "Lavanor, it's me, Iawen."

"Iawen, my friend! How could I not have recognized you?" he grinned widely and hugged me.

"It's been so long. I did not realize that you were a guard at Greenwood," I said hugging him back. Thranduil was still looking at us.

Lavanor released me, "I am the Captain of the Guard."

"Why have I not seen you around the Palace?" I asked.

"I have been very busy. I am surprised I haven't seen _you _around the Palace. What is your business here?" He asked.

"My father sent me here on business that I would love to share with you, but… "

"No worries, I understand," he smiled and I grinned back, still dumbfounded that I found an old friend here.

We engaged in small talk for a while, but then he lead the conversation down a different path, "I see you're still wearing… those," he observed me.

I looked scornfully at him, "I am allowing you to say those things because you are my friend. But otherwise, please do not bring that up now."

"It's not healthy for an elleth your age, Iawen. I am telling you this because I worry."

I furrowed my brows and he laughed, "I will stop, but under one condition," he paused, " I want you to come to a festival with me."

I shrugged, "There is a lot of them, and I'm usually not doing much."

"I'll see you around, then," he smiled and walked away. I huffed and sat back down.

* * *

I walked back over to her, "It seems as if everyone is concerned with what you wear," I said and she glared at me.

I carried on, "I have given you many dresses that I have not seen you wear."

She got up and looked at me apologetically, "They are very beautiful dresses, but I cannot bring myself to wear them. Please understand."

"I see. You are very modest with your attire, but I cannot understand why," I stepped closer to her, "I do not like it when people hide things from me. Both scars and skin illnesses can be cured by your father, including many elven healers," I went on, "I know this and yet, you still lie to me."

She backed away and looked at my chest instead of my face, "Why must you know everything? You wouldn't understand what I went through; the pain I ha—"

I grabbed her chin forcefully so she would look at me.

* * *

His grasp was rough and it was beginning to hurt. I was doing my best to hold back tears that were threatening to spill.

"_Leithio nin_," I said through my teeth. I tried to get him to let me go by tightening my grasp on his wrist, but to no avail.

"Do not speak to _me_ of pain," he said in a low tone. My eyes widened when a burn appeared that covered the whole side of his face. It was a very brutal scar; it left the entire side of his face open, showing the muscle.

It was too much. I whimpered as tears spilled down my face. I let go of his wrist and he released his hold on me; he continued to look down at me.

"I didn't know." I whispered and tried to hide my tears. His scar had gone away. I had no idea he was using a concealing spell for his burns.

"I knew you fought in the Battle of Dagorlad, but I didn't realize you carried a burn that severe," I said as I was trying to calm myself down.

* * *

It shocked me that she had started crying; she always seemed so tough, I forgot she was capable of it.

I felt a pang of guilt, but I foolishly ignored it, " You are just a girl, you don't know pain. _I _should be the one speaking to you of pain." It wasn't until later that I realized that, that was one of the most ignorant things I had ever said. She looked up at me with her big green eyes.

"Go on and get ready for the next meal," I said. She bowed and left without a word.

* * *

_**Tsk tsk, Thranduil what are we going to do with you? **_

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	8. Pledge

Pledge

* * *

"How are your sisters doing, Iawen? Good I assume?" Lavanor asked taking a swig of his wine. We were talking at one of many feasts we had gone to in the past week, nearly every night we would stay up late.

"Oh yes, they are well. Arwen still talks about how she misses your company. And you know Pegneth, she will always have a liking to you."

He laughed, "Well, I miss both of them just as much. Tell them I said that, will you?"

"You have my word," I said mockingly. I watched as he took a swig of wine and I wished I could join him.

"So," He started, "What _is_ your business here?"

He saw that I was conflicted, "I am the Captain of the Guard, it's okay to tell me. Besides, the King should have already told me."

I eyed him and then sighed, "Oh alright. My father sent me here to become Queen of Greenwood. But I know my father's real intent was to send me away so I could be adventurous, but still be under the care of another."

"What? Thranduil—" he started loudly but I hushed him, "Thranduil _pledged_ himself to you?"

I blushed, "No! No, he didn't. Nothing has happened since I got here. All we do is argue."

Lavanor looked angry, "But it seems your father is still planning for you to marry said your father was planning for you to marry _me_," he paused, "I pledged myself to you, Iawen."

"Yes, yes. Please don't get angry. When you left, things were reconsidered. Please don't take it the wrong way."

He stood up and put his cup down forcefully, "Iawen, I am not going to take this lightly. I was highly considering marrying you. Why didn't you send me a letter telling me this?"

I stood up, "Lavanor. You are my good friend, I don't want to argue about something that has already happened. We aren't married, so stop acting like we are," we were talking loudly, but no one was paying attention except for a certain blonde haired king.

"Then stop pretending like you never loved me. I helped you when you needed it."

"Lavanor, ellon grow, I grew. I thought you did the same."

He was about to say something, but ended just muttering angrily to himself and leaving.

I went to my chambers, _Why is it that every time marriage is brought up, someone gets hurt?_ I thought as I sat down at my desk. Lavanor is my closest friend, but he can't understand that ellon move on over time.

There was a knock at my door, I gave a tired sigh and opened it. A guard was waiting on the other side,

"_Hiril vuin_, this letter came today for you."

I took the letter from him,"_Ni lassui_!" I smiled and closed my door.

* * *

_**Hold on tight guys it's about to get rocky.**_

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	9. Epistulae

Epistulae

* * *

I watched the fight unravel between Iawen and Lavanor. By the end of their quarrel, it was obvious who had won. I had no idea they knew each other, but I was even more shocked when I found out that Lavanor pledged himself to her at one point.

My disliking to Lavanor was growing. I never had taken a liking to him, I only gave him his position because he was good at it. I never hire elves for personal reasons. Lavanor knew things I didn't know about Iawen, perhaps I could make him an offer.

No, that was ridiculous.

It was bothering me greatly that Iawen was hiding so much from me. It would get to a point were on some nights I would just think about her. I had become obsessed with figuring her out.

I left the feast early and went to my study; I was going to write a letter to my old friend, Lord Elrond. In the letter I went over how I knew that Iawen was hiding more than a scar behind her mask. This situation was pushing my tolerance, and I was getting weary of it quickly.

I looked over the letter a few times to make sure I had made myself clear. Elrond was an old friend, yet he was still keeping this petty secret hided. It had been a long time since I didn't fully understand a situation. She was so divergent, she was a new path. I wanted to figure her out.

Understanding her will not come easily. I could already see that she was more complicated than I would have hoped. I didn't want anyone to come and live with me, that included complicated elleth. Yet, I still wanted to know her. I hated admitting this, I was creating a weakness. I took my mind off that subject and called for a guard to deliver the message.

* * *

I was just about to sit down and read the letter, when there was yet another knock on my door.

I opened it to come face to face with Lavanor, "Iawen, may I apologize?"

"Lavanor, I am not cross with you, their is no need to apologize."

"No, it was not my right to get angry at you over something your father arranged. I am sorry. I see that you have grown over time and don't harbor the same feelings you used to have. I had forgotten how long it had been."

I hugged him, "You will always be my dear friend, and always the first one to apologize," I said and released him.

He laughed, "We are on the same page now. I still worry about you, Iawen."

"Please, not now. I'm not in the mood to revisit that."

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow," he chuckled and left.

He will always come back to me. He has always loved me in a way I don't. He is my closest friend, not my lover.

I sat back down at my desk and began to read the letter. I thought it would be from my sisters, but it was from Ada.

My Daughter,

I wish you happiness at your new home with the Elven King. Understand that he is also trying to make the new arrangement work, you are not alone. He has written many letters to me asking for assistance, and I have told him what I told you.

I am sure you are wondering why I wrote back instead of your sisters. It pains me to write that there was an attack on Rivendell. Your brothers, Arwen, and I are all in good health. Pegneth parted two nights ago. When we found her in the forest, she had already gone. I did all in my power to revive her but Mandos had already taken her.

I did foresee this; I know you will be angry. We will come to you, don't leave Greenwood. Your siblings want to see what it's like in the Woodland Realm. I informed Thranduil that we will be there soon.

Adar

My thoughts were all mixing together. I wasn't going to listen to my father. I was leaving tonight. I ran towards the exit, down the hall, and into the woods. I ignored the commands from the guards. It was the early morning, but it was still dark out. It was raining heavily; the ground muddy. I ran through the woods, my vision blurry from the falling rain. My clothes and hair stuck to my skin.

Then it hit me: Pegneth, my youngest sibling had died.


	10. Invideo

Invideo

* * *

"My lord, Iawen is gone," the guard approached me looking worried.

I had just received a letter from Elrond telling me to keep her in the Palace, but he had left me with no explanation.

"My lord, she seemed distressed. She ran out not properly dressed for rain like this."

"Go find her," I looked down from my throne, "Lavanor! Go find her. Report back when you find her. Leave now."

He looked at me confused, "My lord she is a grown elleth, I am sure she—"

"Now!" he left quickly.

I took off my cloak and crown and walked outside into the rain. It was pouring, and the guard said that she wasn't properly dressed. _Why can't she just stay put?_

I stepped into the forest and looked around, _She couldn't have gotten far on foot,_ I thought. I searched for what seemed like hours. Until I heard sobbing; It was faint, but trackable. It became louder; I could hear soft talking .

I saw her, but she wasn't alone, she was with Lavanor. They were both sitting on the cold wet ground facing away from me. He held her while she cried and whispered comforts in her ear. This disturbed me, "I see you located Iawen." I said.

Lavanor jerked around and stood up, "Yes my lord, she usually goes up in trees when—"

"I don't care how you found her. Why didn't you report back to me like I ordered you to?" I looked behind him at Iawen.

"She was crying, my lord, I was trying to comfort her."

"You disobeyed my order. I didn't make you Captain to provide comfort on missions," I waited for him to respond, "Leave," I instructed. He bowed and left.

Iawen started to leave as well, "Iawen, come here," I ordered. She walked over and looked at me with her dazzling green eyes.

It was silent for a moment until I spoke, "Why did you leave without informing someone? You were told by your father to stay inside," I looked at her tear stained face, "There is no need for you to cry over something as petty as an argument."

She looked confused, "If you received the letter from my father, you should know why I left for Rivendell, I wasn't crying over Lavanor, Thranduil," her voice was strained.

"I don't care where you were going, tell me why you left."

"Why do you mock me? My father told you that Rivendell was attacked in the note, did he not?"

"Enough with this, I have been very tolerant with your games. Your father told me to keep you safe, but you insist on getting yourself hurt by leaving."

Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked directly at me, "My sister was killed by orcs that invaded the forests at Rivendell. I wouldn't cry over Lavanor. You misjudged me," She said. I couldn't hold my angry expression any longer, "Why must you always be so forceful?" she asked and walked away.

_How many times will this happen?_ I thought. My robes were now completely soaked.

I didn't realise that she went up in trees, now I know where to look. She was lucky she wasn't killed by a spider; she didn't have weapons. She could have gotten killed.

* * *

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	11. Blisters

Blisters

* * *

Dramatic things kept happening and I needed a break. I spent a couple days outside reading, or doing things that would take my mind off of my sister. I joined in conversation with Thranduil more than I usually did. Usually we just started arguing, but instead we have been talking about simple things, not the recent problems. He seemed more relaxed lately; he still drinks his fair share, but he hasn't seemed bothered over the forest. I have also been talking to Lavanor a lot, we still go to many feasts and festivals.

I was also expecting ada and my siblings, but I know they are all busy and might not come as soon as they promised. Arwen had been sending me lots of letters, trying to cheer me up, and I have been doing the same. I was sure Elladan and Elrohir are finding their own way of mourning.

Greenwood was my home, I felt adventure everywhere I went. The forest beckons me and can't help but to go out every day. I would also frequently go to the courtyard. I noticed how Thranduil is out every morning, usually accompanied with wine. He asked me sometimes to sing for him, and I always say yes. I knew other songs than the lullaby my mother sang for me. Everytime he asked, I would sing a different song. He never said anything after I sang, he just looked ahead, or at me. I have never met someone who liked hearing my singing, and I'm sure he has heard many other singers.

I went into the forest this morning instead of the courtyard; I haven't practiced my fighting skills in a while. I was hoping to find spiders I could kill, but didn't and ended up using trees as targets. I felt like a different person every time I fought. Everything happened so quickly; so perfectly.

I breathed in the fresh scent of earth as I practiced one of many fighting techniques with a sword. It was one of the harder techniques that I have always had trouble with. To anyone else it would have been perfect, but to me there were many flaws.

I swung my sword upwards; all the turns were perfect, my feet exactly balanced. My eyes narrowed as I detected a mistake when I pushed the sword forward. I flipped and landed lightly on my feet. I turned and jutted the sword out. I cursed, _Another mistake,_ I thought and continued.

I did this for hours, doing the same things over again, the same footing, the same turns, and the same mistakes. I became aggravated; my hand was beginning to blister from holding the handle too tight. I took my anger out on a nearby tree and slashed it hard. I cried out when the rough handle cut another tear in my palm. I stood there looking at the tree, my brows furrowed together.

I jumped when I heard a familiar low voice," It is better than you think," Thranduil said.

I turned around to face Thranduil, "Are you talking of my hands or my stance?" I didn't bother asking how long he had been standing there. I noted that he wasn't wearing his crown or any rings on his hands.

His lip curled up at my humor, "Both, most likely," he looked down at my hands but I held them behind my back.

"Let me see them," his eyes softened. I hesitantly took my hands out behind my back and held them out in front of me. He moved closer and raised his eyebrows, "The one day you don't wear gloves…" he said and sighed. My heart skipped a beat when he held my hands gently in his to keep them still. I used all my will to keep myself from shivering.

I took a sharp intake of breath when my palms started to sting. He looked up at me, "Rip off a part of your sleeve," he said.

"What? No," I looked up at him.

He took my arm and tore the sleeve. I was going to start yelling, but then he ripped what he had torn in two pieces. I watched as he quickly wrapped each hand in the soft fabric of my red robes.

I admired his work, "_Le fael,_" I said looking back up at him; he was looking at me.

"Now that your dress is ruined, you can wear the ones I have given you,"

I laughed, "I have plenty more of my own. The dresses you give me are far too pretty for fighting," he smiled at this.

It was silent for a few moments until he spoke again, "Continue to practice."

I chuckled, "No, I am done with the sword for today," I put my sword on my belt, "I will do something easier."

He tilted his head, "Practice the technique you were working on. Its not as bad as you perceive."

I furrowed my eyebrows, "But it isn't perfect."

"No. But then you would be working for an impossible goal."

"I am trying to get close to perfect."

"Then you need to practice."

I huffed and took out my sword again. I walked around Thranduil and stood far away from him. I let myself become apart of the sword as I started the technique. Every turn was precise, every flip was exact, and the sword movements were done with grace.

I breathed out and twisted in the air again, my emerald eyes narrowed as I my feet hit the ground. I tried to ignore the fact that Thranduil was watching me and I continued the stances perfectly until it was over. It was the first time in that day that I completed it without mistakes.

My breathing was labored and my hands were threatening to break. I collapsed on the ground and laid there looking up at the sky.

Thranduil was standing there waiting for me to get up, but I did no such thing. I needed to catch my breath first.

* * *

I watched her flawless technique for an hour, she seemed different when fighting. She was so concentrated. I took note of this when I watched her defeat the spider. After, when I was examining her hands, I had felt her conceal a shiver against my touch. I smirked when that happened, but I hope she didn't see it.

* * *

I got up after five minutes of laying on the cool ground. Thranduil had not left either; he seemed to be deep in thought when I looked at him. He walked with me back to the Palace, his cloak following behind him. I could see the entrance through the darkness. We were almost there when someone yelled, "Iawen!" I turned around only to be embraced Arwen's gentle hug. Ada and my brothers were behind her. They had gotten here sooner than expected.

Arwen let me go and held me at arm's length so she could look at me, "Iawen, you look horrible. What were you doing?"

I laughed as Thranduil and I exchanged glances that Arwen didn't see, "You look worn out yourself Arwen. Let go of me so I can see father," she smiled and let me go. I went over to my father and gave him a hug as well, "It's good to see you, ada. I hope things in Rivendell are going well." I let go and gave him and smiled; I was trying to hide my anger.

"I missed you too, Iawen. Things are well, the orcs didn't get further than the forest," he said and looked down at me. My father made his way over to Thranduil and they went inside.

I looked over at my brothers and a wide smile broke out over my covered face. I ran over and gave them both a bone crushing hug.

"You have not changed, sister," Elladan said

"Not a bit," Elrohir added.

I frowned at them, "I should kill both of you for being gone so long," I punched both of them in the shoulder and they both pretended to be hurt.

We were on our way in when Elrohir asked me a question, "So, has King Thranduil pledged himself to you yet?" he asked in mockery and nudged me on the arm. My brothers started laughing, but I easily ignored them. I walked faster into the Palace to catch up with Arwen. We entered the rooms she was assigned and sat on the bed.

She eyed me, "Well?" she asked.

"Well, what?"

She smiled, "Well, has Thranduil claimed you? I saw that you were walking with him."

My face went red, "No, Arwen. We were never supposed to be married, I was supposed to become Queen, which doesn't really make much sense, but neither of those things happened."

She looked confused, "Ada, didn't tell you?"

My heart sped up, "Didn't tell me what?"

She hesitated, "Iawen, ada is planning to have you marry Thranduil over time, I thought he had told you," I felt a rush of emotions from hearing that my father had kept something so important a secret from me

She hugged me, "I see that you ruined that nice dress, though," she got up and went over to her bag, "Luckily I brought a new one for you."

She pulled out a beaded white dress. It was sort of like my battle dresses, but this one was not as modest. It wasn't like the traditional ones that Thranduil gave me either.

I got up and touched the soft fabric, "Arwen, this is beautiful. You didn't have to bring this all the way here for me."

She put it in my hands and took out another smaller piece of white fabric, "Here, this is to cover your face. I won't force you not to wear one. I know what wearing one means to you."

I took off my mask and took the white one from Arwen, she gasped, "Oh, I haven't seen your face in ages, Iawen. You look so different," she touched my face lightly and I smiled at her.

"Please wear this at dinner tonight, everyone will love it," she said.

I took the clothes in my hand and went into Arwen's closet. The dress rested perfectly on my curves. It was still modest, but it wasn't anything close to what I wore every day. I touched the mask that covered the lower half of my face, _How I would love not to wear this,_ I thought.

I left the walk in closet and went back out to Arwen. She stood up from the bed and looked at me for a while. She furrowed her eyebrows after a minute and went over to her bag.

She came back carrying a crown,"You forgot your crown in Rivendell when you left," It was a beautiful silver elven crown that had clear crystals in front. I had forgotten that I even had a crown.

She motioned me to turn around. I felt her undoing the loose braid that I had done earlier; my straight hair fell over my shoulders and framed my face. She then put the crown over my dark hair.

She turned me around and smiled widely, "Perfect," she whispered.

She went back over to her bag and took out a blue traditional dress. I sighed and sat down on the bed, five minutes later Arwen came out of the closet looking beautiful as usual.

* * *

_**Well, Thranduil has certainly claimed me, I don't know about you guys. **_


	12. Rage

Rage

* * *

A guard came to escort Arwen and I to dinner a half an hour later. I always dreaded gatherings like this. Thranduil would be irritated that I didn't wear one of the dresses he brought me, but he would just have to live with it.

We walked into the giant dining room; everyone was there already, including my trouble making brothers. Thranduil and my father were sitting at opposite ends of the table.

Elladan gave me his seat, which was right next to Thranduil. I glared at him as he sat next to Elrohir.

During dinner Thranduil kept looking at me and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. The dinner was relatively quiet, the only people who talked were my father and Thranduil. But near the end, things changed, Thranduil brought up the recent attack on Rivendell, and I thought I heard Arwen curse under her breath.

My father tried to change the subject, "The elves of Rivendell are glad that the orcs didn't get past the forest, or more might have been killed."

I piped in before Thranduil said anything, "Yes, it was good only one was killed. I can't seem to remember who though, I think it was a young girl. "

Everyone was looking at me now, "Iawen," My father said, "We killed the orc who poisoned Pegneth. All we could do was mourn her."

I tried to reply as calmly as I could, "_You_ couldn't do much else but mourn her. I was left here. How can I mourn my sister at her grave when I am not allowed to leave?" Arwen looked more distressed than me. My father didn't look mad, or hurt, he was just looking at me. Thranduil was looking at me with his mouth slightly open.

When no one spoke I went on, "How did she even get into the forest? Did she just happen to appear in the middle of a battle? Someone should have been looking after her, she is— she _was _a child," silence, "And when you sent me the letter, you said she died two nights before you wrote it. Why did you wait? Why am I the last to know everything? Why didn't you protect her if you foresaw her death?" My breathing was heavy, "I am ill from all this."

My father cut in, "Iawen, no one has been keeping anything from you, there is no need for this."

I stood up, my rage was boiling over, "No." I breathed, "No. I just found out that I am to be married soon and that it had been arranged since day one. I wasn't told about my own marriage," I tried my hardest not to start crying. _Why am I acting like this? I am the eldest._

Arwen was trying to get me to sit down, "Iawen, please think for a moment before you say something you'll regret," she whispered up to me. I ignored her and looked painfully at Thranduil. My anger was burning out, and was quickly being replaced with embarrassment.

I turned quickly and left to my chamber. I shed my clothes and got into the bath.

I slid under the water and watched bubbles escape my mouth, it was entertaining for an hour until I then realized that my fingers were wrinkled and got out. I didn't want to think about what happened at dinner. I didn't regret speaking my mind, but I regretted ranting at my father in front of everyone. I know he took Pegneth's death just as hard as I did, but I wanted a reason why no one told me that I was actually being married off.

I lay on my bed looking up at the ceiling when there was a knock at my door, "Who is it?" I called.

"Arwen," Her voice was quiet behind the big doors.

I sighed, "You can come in."

She wasn't wearing her blue dress anymore, but she was wearing a more relaxed night dress. She laid on her side next to me on the bed.

I spoke first, "I know I have to apologize, Arwen."

"Yes, but that is not why I came to see you. I came to tell you that you were right. All those things you said, were right," she paused, "But it was just how you said it to ada wasn't right. You know he loved Pegneth, we all loved her."

I sighed, "I know, it was foolish of me."

She looked sadly at me, "And you know he wouldn't arrange for you to be with Thranduil unless he foresaw it."

"Your right, like always."

She stroked my hair, "I wouldn't give up on him, Iawen. You don't seem to hate him, and he doesn't seem to hate you either. At least that's a start," I smiled weakly. Even though Arwen was younger than me, she always seemed older.

"It seems as if Thranduil has taken interest in you."

I laughed, "How so?"

"He couldn't keep his eyes off of you at dinner."

I laughed again and hid my blush, "That is ridiculous."

"Don't be in denial, it doesn't suit you," she smiled.

"Alright, whatever you say."

"I will see you in the morning," she got up and left me alone in the cold room.


	13. Apologies

Apologies

* * *

I went straight to the courtyard the next morning. I knew that's where Thranduil would be, and my father was most likely with him.

I saw them talking and I wondered how I could get his attention without interrupting their conversation. I went over to where they were talking and did my best not to be rude,

"Father, I would like to speak with you, if this is a good time," he excused himself from the conversation and gestured me to walk with him.

He didn't speak and I went ahead, "Ada, I am deeply sorry for the way I spoke to you at dinner. I had no right—"

"Iawen, _lellig,_" he looked at me with sorrow, "I understand your anger. There is no need to apologize."

"No, I should not have been cross with you about her death. I know you couldn't do anything. Please forgive me."

"You are always forgiven, my daughter," I smiled widely and dismissed myself.

A couple days past and I spent most of my time with my siblings, but I was missing my time with Thranduil. It was strange, but I did like talking to him; he made me laugh. He had seemed kinder lately even though the problem with the forest was still lingering.

I walked into the throne room and saw him drinking on his throne, "Drinking again?" I called up to him.

He got up from his seat and walked down to me, "You insist on talking to me like I am your brother."

I laughed at his dry humor, "Every time I see you, you are drinking wine," he tilted his head, which I had grown to find endearing.

I backed up noticing how close he was, "I came here to apologize to you, as well. I am sorry for the display I showed the other evening at dinner." When he didn't say anything I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm. I clenched my jaw to keep myself from shivering, and turned around to face him,

"You are forgiven," he said quietly and let go of my arm. I smiled and left him standing there.

* * *

She had become so captivating, no one has ever tried to make me smile, or even laugh, and yet she manages both. She doesn't even pull away from my touch, I had felt her conceal a shiver both times I touched her.

She always talks to me in an informal manner, which would bother me if it was anyone else, but she makes good use of her relaxed demeanor. She treats me as she would anyone else, which takes a lot of effort, yet she does it so easily.

I gave her credit for apologizing to me even though she didn't do anything to me, it was just how she acted in front of me, but that was enough to show that she cared.

* * *

_**Sorry this chapter was so short, but don't worry there will be lots of drama in the next one. Thanks you guys, and don't forget to review!**_


	14. Lust

Lust

* * *

I didn't want my family to leave, but Rivendell was probably missing them. I said my farewells to Arwen, my brothers, and my father. They all left fairly early, and I didn't have much planned for the rest of the day or week.

Lavanor had invited me to another feast that week, and I was debating whether or not I should decline it. He had been acting strange lately and it was unsettling.

The forest has also been strange, it seemed dark. So I have been staying away from it.

The rest of the week was boring, Thranduil was in a lot of meetings, so his company was limited. I decided not to go to the feast Lavanor had invited me to.

There was a full moon that evening; it was enchanting. The stars sparkled around it like jewels. I sighed.

* * *

It was the end of the week and I had just gotten out of a meeting with the other elven tribes. The evening sky was beautiful; I thought of Iawen. I hadn't spoke to her all week and I rarely saw her in the halls. As I was looking at the sky, I saw her on the hallway balcony. It was just a silhouette, but I knew it was her.

I walked over and stood next to her; she was leaning on the railing, "It's captivating, is it not?" I asked.

She looked towards me, her emerald bright, "Yes, truly beautiful," she said softly and looked back.

I studied her; her fair skin looked soft under the moonlight. I moved closer to her and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear; she noticeably shivered.

Her eyes were wide when she looked at me, "Thranduil?"

I put my hand on her lower back gently and brushed my fingers across her face with my free hand. I heard her take a sharp intake of breath. I moved my face closer to hers; I was using all my strength not to take her mask off.

She put her hand on my arm that was holding her waist. My chest was now pressed against hers and I could clearly feel her heart beating quickly. Her hand that was on my arm went up to the side of my neck and then traced up to my jaw. Her touch was so soft.

I _wanted_ her.

Before I did anything I would regret later, I painfully let go of her, and left her standing on the balcony. It was a cruel thing to do, but hopefully she knows me enough to know it hurt me just as much.

* * *

I stood there in a daze as I went over what had just happened, _He just held me. He touched me and I touched him back,_ I thought as I sat down on the ground. My heart was still racing; I touched my face where he had brushed his fingers across. My heart nearly fell out of my chest.

I took slow breaths to calm myself down, _Why did I indulge him?_ I thought cursing , _But he had touched me so gently,_ I thought and shook my head, _No. I need to stop thinking like this. I will end up broken. He just did that to see what I would do, and he got what he wanted: a reaction, _I stood up, _Maybe I would go to the feast Lavanor invited me to._ I thought, but it was over by the time I had gone down to the cellars. I was sitting on the ground longer than I had thought.

I decided to head back up to my chamber, but I ran into someone along the way,"Hey, Iawen," Lavanor said clearly drunk.

"Good evening, Lavanor. I am sorry I missed the feast you invited me to, I got busy."

He walked over to me, "Busy with what?"

"Oh just—"

"Thranduil, perhaps?" he asked.

I cursed, "Lavanor, no."

He was getting progressively closer to me, "Don't lie to me, I know about the marriage. I saw you earlier this evening." I stood there silently not knowing what to say.

"Say something, you bitch," he said through his teeth and slapped me with the back of his hand. I yelped and held the side of my face. I let out another cry when he slammed me up against the wall and pressed his body up against mine. _How many things are going to happen tonight?_ I thought.

I was desperately trying to get free without hurting my friend. I turned my face sideways as he moved closer; he smelled thickly of wine. I felt sick; my face stung, and my head was spinning.

"You lied to me, Iawen. You said Thranduil had not claimed you, but he clearly has done much more than that," a twisted grin spread across his face. _Someone help me,_ I thought desperately, but there was only one ellon I wanted to save me.

"You are drunk Lavanor, go to bed before you do something foolish," I spat at him.

He was beginning to tear at my robes, "I should have made you mine a long time ago, before you started this nonsense with covering yourself up," he started unhooking the front of my robes.

I slapped him hard, "Don't you dare!"

He pressed harder against me, "You're a liar, Iawen. You should love me," I whimpered as he continued to to expose my skin. _Please, someone help,_ I thought. I didn't want to hurt him, but if he continued, he might hurt me.

A cool voice entered the room,"What's happening here, Lavanor?"

Lavanor flew off me when he heard Thranduil's voice. I fell to the ground and attempted to clasp the hooks he had undone, but I was shaking. I couldn't believe Thranduil showed; up he actually came.

Lavanor started hopelessly stuttering as he looked back and forth between me and Thranduil. But Thranduil continued to look at him furiously, "Leave, now."

Lavanor looked at him, but Thranduil was persistent, "Go now. Leave Greenwood, you're not welcome here anymore." If looks could kill Lavanor would be long gone.

I was still recovering from the attempt at rape; my head was spinning as I heard Lavanor leave. I slid up the wall trying to regain my balance, Thranduil looked like he didn't know what to do.

"Thranduil, how long were you watching?"

He walked slightly closer to me, but I didn't take it as a threat, "I waited to see if you were going to defend yourself, but it seemed like he wasn't going to stop. I couldn't let something vular like that happen in my own realm."

I tilted my head down towards the floor, "Why?" I cried, "Why is is always me?"


	15. Falsum Basium

Falsum Basium

* * *

"Why?" she cried, "Why is is always me?"

I tried to hide the concern on my face, "Iawen, come with me."

I started walking down the long hallway to my chambers, Iawen following behind me.

I opened the doors and went into the study; I gestured for her to sit in a chair while I stood in front of her.

"Iawen, tell me. What did you mean when you said that?"

She looked at her hands, "I can not tell you," she said and left swiftly. I watched her leave and close the door.

I wanted to hold her, to whisper to her that it would be alright. I wanted to stroke her hair and kiss her until everything was fine, but she wasn't mine yet.

"Or you don't want to tell me," I said to myself.

* * *

I couldn't tell him, it would ruin everything. He would never look at me the same way again.

Lavanor did pledge himself to me a long time ago when we were still young. He was going to marry me. Even though I told myself I was in love with him, I did not harbor the feelings he wanted me to. I didn't realize he was so mad about my arrangement with Thranduil. He was truly my friend, and if that wasn't enough for him, then that was his fault. Even though my head was buzzing, sleep came to me quickly that night.

I woke up very late the next day with a migraine. I forced myself to get out of bed and into the courtyard. I was not surprised to see Thranduil sitting on a bench with a cup of wine.

I sat down next to him and started reading the book I brought out.

He looked and me and took another sip of wine, "You look fair today."

I looked at him crossly, "How can you say that I look fair? You can't even see half of my face."

He simpered, "Beauty is not always seen with the eyes."

I cocked my eyebrow, "Why are you trying to get a reaction out of me?"

He raised his eyebrows, "Iawen, how do you come up with these notions? I was about to open my mouth to respond, but Lavanor came over looking very disgruntled. Thranduil stood up immediately; his crown making him look like he was thirteen feet tall,

"I thought I banished you, " he started, but I stood up and touched his shoulder telling him that I was going to handle it.

Lavanor looked desperately at me, "Iawen, I am so sorry. Forgive me."

"You are going to have to do much more than apologize to me if you want my forgiveness. In the meantime, you were given orders by your king to leave."

"No, Iawen. Please, I love you!"

"_Ego_. If you ever touch me again, I will make it so you can't remember your name."

Thranduil looked to a nearby guard,"Guards, take this ellon away,"

I turned and looked up at Thranduil; he watched the guards take my old friend away, "Do you wear that crown to look taller?"

He looked down at me; his angry expression changing into a smirk, "Yes."

I flashed a wide smile, "Infact everything you wear makes you look intimidating."

"That was my intention. I _am_ the king," He lifted my chin up smoothly with his index finger and thumb, "Soon you will be wearing intimidating things as well."

I was taken aback by this statement; I took a step away from him, "I was under the impression that you weren't happy with this arrangement either."

He tilted his head, "I thought the same with you until yesterday evening."

My eyebrows furrowed, "We both know that you were just trying to get a reaction out of me. Do not act like it was anything else."

"It surprises me that you come up with so much, Iawen. Is it that arduous to admit your feelings?"

I glared at him, "What feelings?"

"Being in denial doesn't suit you."

I huffed, "What do you want from me?"

It was silent for a moment until Thranduil spoke again, "The secrets you mask."

I wanted to tell him just to teach him not to meddle in other people's business.

I looked at him as I tried to decide whether or not I should tell him, "So you want to know the petty things I keep from you? You want the reason why I cover my face?

"I do."

"Too bad," I said and tried to walk off but my wrist was grabbed.

I turned around to face him, "Iawen, I don't crave your secrets. They are secrets for a reason," he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me up.

This time I was ready, "You can't just keep doing this." I put my hand on his chest pushing him away.

"No," He started, "No, you asked what I wanted out of you, and I am showing you"

He put his free hand on the back of my head; his fingers entangling with my hair. My eyes went wide, I had no idea what he was going to do.

"It is too bad I cannot kiss you," he bent his head closer to my neck, I felt his cool breath brush across my face and down my neck. I whimpered.

By now the only thing that was keeping me from falling over was his arm. I had to put one arm around his back and the other around his neck to support myself, which made the situation worse.

He leaned closer and pressed his lips gently on my neck. I let a breath out I didn't realize I was holding and closed my eyes. He removed his lips from my skin and examined my face. I tried to look irate so he wouldn't be able to read that I was conflicted. He let me go and my knees almost gave out. I flattened out my dress and stood up straight.

We stood there quietly until I broke the silence, "You ruined my hair."

I was surprised when he smiled, "You still have to come to dinner."

I laughed harder than I should have, but I was still recovering from shock from the past two days.

* * *

_**I know I'm horrible. But you still have to review!**_


	16. Attack

Attack

* * *

Despite my attempts to stay away from Thranduil, we always ended up talking. They ranged from detailed stories of the battles he was in, to our choice of books. It was all silly, but I didn't mind.

I needed a break from everything that happened recently, and it seemed he did too.

Even though he had a very serious demeanor, he would often talk passionately about things; It was wonderful. He explained everything in depth.

I told stories too. I tried to put as much details in them, but he was so much better at it. He still listens to me, though. He makes me laugh much more than I thought he would when I first met him.

We spend our days in the library, reading books aloud. It was a vapid way to pass time, but he indulged it. After we finished a books, we would get into arguments over the meaning of certain things. He was great at arguing, but I was excellent at it.

I started wearing my hair down more, and not in the single braid I usually had it in. I also stopped wearing my gloves, It made me feel less uptight. I didn't know if Thranduil noticed, or if he even cared, but knowing him, he has probably noticed.

I went over the weeks events as I laid on the lush green grass in the courtyard; my dark hair was spread across the ground. The sky was a light blue and the fluffy clouds blocked the sun from hurting my vision.

I hadn't seen Thranduil all day, and I was starting to wonder if he was even going to come outside today. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked around, there was no sign of him. I sighed and got up off the ground. I went inside and looked for him, but to no avail. I even tried knocking on the doors to his chamber. I was glad that he wasn't in there because it would have been strange if he came out and saw me standing there. I started to get frustrated, but that's when I saw him. He was walking down the hallway facing away from me.

I chased after him, "Thranduil, you weren't in the courtyard this morning," I said when I caught up to him.

"I am very busy. I don't have time for your antics," he was still looking ahead.

I blinked a couple times, "You could have just said that you were busy. You didn't need to add on."

"Leave me."

I stopped walking, "I did not know you perceived me as foolish."

"The activities become antics when you take part in them," he said.

I felt a dull pain in my chest, "I see," I turned in the opposite direction and went into the forest. I climbed up a tall tree and lay on one of the bigger branches. _I would prefer marrying a tree. At least they're not mean, and they're easier to love,_ I thought spitefully.

I was drowning in my own pity when their was a violent rustling. _What is with this forest and rustling?_ I thought. I climbed up to the top of the tree and looked out. I could see where it was coming from; it was moving closer. I started hearing faint yells. I was getting worried, lots of things yell but none of those things should be in this forest. The yelling started to get clearer, it sounded like multiple people or elves, but elves don't yell. There was an attack on Rivendell recently and the attackers were orcs.

The yelling was orcs. It all made sense, they were trying to invade the Elven kingdoms.

I thanked my instinct to run deep into the forest when I was mad, it would have been too late if I had spotted them later.

The orcs were moving fast. They were headed towards the back entrance, near the river.

I jumped down from the tree and ran as fast as I could towards the front entrance. It was the fastest I had ever run in my life. When I got to the doors, they were closed, but there were two guards standing there.

They must have seen my distressed look, "My lady, is there something wrong?"

"Orcs are going to attack the back entrance. I need to go through to get my weapons. Inform everyone, there is a lot."

The guards looked at each other, "My lady, we trust your judgment, but did you truly see them?"

"Yes! Go and inform every one! They are close!" I yelled.

The door opened and I raced through the halls. I retrieved my weapons, and went down the halls to the back entrance.


	17. End

End

* * *

It had only been 10 minutes, but when I arrived there, they had already started attacking. I heard the sound of the Elven horn blow loudly for the sign of battle. I drew my bow and let it fly, it hit an orc in the back of the head. I ran out further past the walls, I was accompanied by many others.

I killed orc after orc, they dropped quickly like flies.

_I saw a star rise high in_

_The evening sky._

_It hung like a jewel_

_Softly shining_

I thought of how they killed my sister out of cold blood; how they tortured my mother to insanity. They didn't deserve what they got. The orcs deserved to die. Every last one.

_Disgusting,_ I thought and stabbed one through the stomach.

_Foul, _my arrow flew through the air; impaling one in the eye.

_Wretched, _I twisted my blade in its head.

_Filthy, _I thought as my arrow went through three heads.

I dodged a swing from a blade and killed it with my arrow, _Vile._

Blood stained my blade and clothes, but as long it was the blood of the enemy, I didn't care. I blocked a flying arrow with ease; my face splattered with more red as I pressed my blade through its neck, _Die._

I wasn't thinking about anything else besides the rich feeling I got from killing them. I wasn't thinking about Pegneth anymore, or my mother, or even my feelings for Thranduil. No, I was thinking about giving a bloody death to these creatures.

"You like this feeling, orc? The feeling of death?" I asked the it as I struck him with my blade.

He gave a wheezy laugh, "Death will come to you soon, elfling."

I grinned, "Not before I kill you," I plunged my sword fully through its body and twisted the blade.

I turned around only to be met with an arrow. Pain erupted in my side. Another arrow hit me. _How could I have missed that? _I knelt over and grabbed my stomach. My heart was thumping out of my chest and it was becoming harder to breathe. _Why didn't I take his threat seriously?_ I thought as I ripped out both arrows from my skin. I cried out with pain. I was trying to stay on my wobbling knees as the thick blood spilled onto my hand.

I fell to the floor, my desperate, darting eyes looking for signs of an elf. My sight was becoming blurry and I hadn't seen or heard any indication of anyone except for the grunts and yells of the orcs. I looked down and saw a pool of crimson surrounding my body. I tried to unlatch the hooks on my coat to get closer to the wound, but I was too weak; my fingers fumbled. The pain was consuming my brain; I couldn't think straight. _Where am I? Why am I here? How did this happen?_ I thought.

I couldn't see anymore and my hand fell from my stomach. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, mixing with the sweat and blood that tarnished my face. I wanted to see him one last time, but he wouldn't save me.

_I saw a star fade in_

_The evening sky._

_The dark was too deep and so light died_

_Softly pining._

That's when I heard it, the loud thumping of boots, they stopped in front of me. I heard the dark, demented laughter of an orc; my hopes of being saved vanished. More pain exploded in my side; it was excruciating.

I screamed as he continued to laugh. The orc pressed his boot harder into my open wound. I couldn't take it. _Just die, it will all go away, _I thought, _Just die, die, it will go away. _My eyes were flickering; the pain wasn't stopping anytime soon. My heart rate slowed as the throbbing in my side worsened. _Just close your eyes and it will go away; it's so simple._

Then it stopped and everything was gone.

_For what might have been_

_For what never was_

_For a life long lived_

_For a love half given_


	18. Corpi

Corpī

* * *

The battle was thankfully over. I had taken part in it only because of the multiple of orcs. We had won easily, and it didn't seem like we had lost anyone, but we had not yet checked to see if there were elves spotted in between the orc corpses.

I knew that Iawen took place in it, I had seen her dashing past me earlier. Guilt struck me, I had been careless towards her.

"Go search the grounds for bodies of our kin!" I yelled out to the guards. I didn't see Iawen come back, perhaps she was avoiding me. I looked out along the river, watching as the guards checked for bodies.

A worried elleth approached me, "My lord, Iawen has not been seen since the beginning of the battle. Some are saying they saw her being struck with arrows."

My eyes widened as I looked towards the river, "Call for the healers," I told her. I went outside the walls were the guards were searching,

"Look for Iawen! She was struck!" I yelled.

The healers were searching the grounds as well, "My lord! We found her!" a healer shouted to me. I went over to the group that was crowding around her.

My chest was tight and my breath hitched when I saw her cold lifeless face, "No." I whipped off her glove and checked her pulse, it was a slow and uneven, it was barely detectable.

My eyes darted to the red that stained her clothes. I could see the struggle that took place, blood covered the hooks of her robes. Her cold white hands were stained with her dark blood. Crimson was splattered across her face. The arrows that she took out were laying next to her.

"No," I whispered again.

"My lord, please we have to get her healed."

I reluctantly moved out of the way as the healers took her on a stretcher, I followed behind them.

I heard dark laughter and I looked at the ground,

"I-I killed h-her, heheh…"

I stepped on his throat so that the only sound he could make was wheezy choking, "You are lucky she didn't get to you," I said blankly and walked away from the dead corpse.

The healers denied me access to her chamber where they were healing her. I was left to brood about her state. I thought of her lifeless face and my heart became sore. _I had said such cruel things so her. If she dies, those will be the last things I said to her. I will be left in agony. And if she is alive, she will not want to see me,_ I thought.

I put my hand on my face and slouched in my chair. Her father needs to know about her state. I had promised to protect her, yet she is hand in hand with death at this very moment.

I wanted to see her, to talk to her, I wanted to touch her, to see her smiling eyes. I wanted her. No, I needed her. But, she was dying.


	19. Awakening

Awakening

* * *

Lord Elrond and Iawen's siblings arrived a day shorter than a week, yet Iawen was still unresponsive. The only one allowed to see her was Lord Elrond, and he too confirmed that she was in a deep sleep.

She was being watched all day and all night under my orders. I tried to get a glimpse of her when the doors to her chamber were opened, but the they were closed with haste. Arwen was in tears most of the time and was comforted by her brothers. There wasn't much work to be done, so I spent most of my time in my chambers fretting over Iawen. According to the healers, she has not been responsive, her eyelids haven't even flickered. This led to another stream of tears from Arwen.

Every night I stayed up until the early hours of the morning thinking about her and wishing she was still here with me. I stood on the hallway balcony and thought about the situation I was in.

Arwen stood beside me occasionally asking questions, but I was not expecting her next one, "Do you love her?" she asked seriously.

I directed my attention towards her, "By that question, do you already have an assumption, and want me to prove it true, or do you truly not know?" I asked.

She hesitated, "I already have an assumption."

"Then, you do not need my answer," I replied

She smiled, "You are just like her, you deny anything you don't want to face. She reacted the same when I asked her. I will tell you what I told her: Do not give up."

I looked at the grey sky, "Your wisdom is beyond your years," she smiled at this and left me standing alone. You cannot deny the wisdom of a Rivendell elf.

Two days past and Iawen was still not waking. The healers said that she would stir occasionally in her sleep, but her eyes did not open.

On day four we were all in the dining room discussing Iawens situation, and the battle that caused it.

A healer came in and spoke, "My lord," She looked wistfully at the gathering of elves, "She has woken," everyone stood up from their chair, "But, I am sorry to say that she is not fully healed and has only allowed her family members to visit her."

I looked at her like she was going to say something else, but she said nothing and directed them to Iawen's chamber.

My fears had come true, she didn't want to see me. She has not forgiven me, _But why? Had I really hurt her? Did she care that much? _I wanted to see her so exceedingly, it felt like a dagger had been twisted in my chest. She was awake, but she specifically told me that I could not see her.

The next day came slowly, but the next morning I was visited by a healer in the library,

"My lord," I looked at her worried face, "Iawen told me not to tell you this, but she did not allow you access because she doesn't want you to see her in such a state," she smiled.

I raised my eyebrows, "I am king, am I not? My word should be above hers. Allow me access to her chamber."

She bit her lip, "My lord, I respect your word, I do, but please understand that she does not look well at all. When I say that I respect the patient's decision over yours, I am saying that as a healer. She is very distressed."

I was going to enforce some sort of punishment, but I was too exhausted, and she was right, "You are dismissed." I said. _Why did I want to see her so badly?_

* * *

_**Poor Thranduil.**_


	20. Gi Melin

Gi Melin

* * *

The days were passing slowly and I was still denied access to Iawen's chamber. I was trying to forget about her at the moment.

She was visited by her everyone at least twice a day, but Arwen stayed with her most of the day, everyday.

It was getting close to two weeks, and the pain in my chest wasn't going anywhere. I thought of the way she reacted when I kissed her. I felt her soft breath against my jaw, her gentle hands on my neck, her silky hair entangled with my fingers.

My thoughts were plagued with her smiling green eyes, her cheerful laugh, and her wit that always made me smile.

I cursed my thoughts and threw the book I was reading onto my desk. It was a book she had recommended.

I didn't want to think about her any longer, I wanted to see her. Perhaps if I slept, my thoughts wouldn't be so cluttered. I finally gave into the sleep I was needing, it came to me quickly.

The sun was bright the next morning, and my theory was right, I was thinking clearer. But I was still thinking about her.

There was a knock on the library door that woke me from my deep thoughts, "Come in."

The healer elleth came in smiling, "My lord, last night Iawen told me to give you access to her chamber today. She looks better, and will not need to be under treatment anymore."

My heart rate went up, "Take me to her."

We went down the hallways to her chamber doors, "Do not be alarmed if she's asleep, my lord, she will wake soon," said the healer.

The doors opened and Arwen came out and smiled at me. I walked into the naturally lit room, I closed the doors quietly behind me. My eyes darted to her bed. She seemed to be engulfed in her blankets, all I could see was her dark hair from the angle I was at. Her feet were poking out from underneath the covers.

I moved over to the side of her bed where there was a chair placed on the side. As I looked down at her sleeping face, the tightness in my chest went away. And that's when I realized something I hadn't realized before.

She shifted in her sleep so that she was on her back instead of her side. Her face was still covered, but it was different. Her neck and jaw wasn't covered like it usually was and the simple white dress she was wearing had a low collar compared to her usual modest dresses.

I caressed her face gently, and she leaned into my touch; her hair brushed against my fingers.

I backed away just in case she woke up and was startled when she saw me standing over her. I turned and looked out the balcony as I waited for her to wake. Just as I did I heard her her shifting again. I heard her sigh as she sat up. She moved the hair out of her face and her brilliant eyes opened. She looked over at me and her eyes widened, but then her eyebrows furrowed.

"Iawen, before you send me away—"

She ripped the blankets off of her and attempted to walk over to me. She stumbled, and I quickly went over to her and held her waist to help her steady her balance. Once she was balanced she hugged me tightly and rested her head on my chest.

She let go and looked down at her feet, "I haven't walked in some time," she tilted her head to look up at me again, "I wish you wouldn't have to see me like this" she said and chuckled.

I continued to gaze at her and she continued talking, "I didn't think you would come, but here you are," I looked at her still taking her in, "I will not lie, I missed your company."

I spoke, " I thought you had banished me from your presence because you had not forgiven my careless words, but I was informed that you did not want me to see you because of the horrid state you were in. And now that I see your face, all I can say is how much I could not bring myself to stop thinking about you for one moment; I love you."

* * *

_**Oops.**_


	21. Pulchra

Pulchra

* * *

She turned and backed away from me, "No, you don't," she said.

"Why do you say that?" I responded.

She looked at me, "Because you don't know me. You do not know what happened."

"Tell me."

She looked distressed, "If I do, you will run from me, you will send me away, and I don't want that."

"If I leave you because of what happened in the past, then I do not truly love you. I would not share my feelings with you unless it was true."

She whimpered, "You will never look at me the same."

"Never is a long time"

She sighed, "Please, I haven't seen you for two weeks. I would prefer to talk to you rather than argue."

I tilted my head, "I want to do just the same, but you cannot run from this forever," I said and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Alright, if you truly mean what you said, then I will tell you." She sat down on the bed and I in the chair across from her. We sat there silently while I studied her conflicted face.

She broke the silence after ten minutes, "I was with child before," she hesitated, "I had a child before." She put up her hand when she saw that I was confused, "No questions."

"When I was younger, around six hundred years old, I traveled throughout Middle Earth. I had been everywhere, no cave was left unexplored. My eyes saw every town and city. I met, and was friends with men, hobbits, dwarves, and the dunedain. They were all known to me, and I was loved. They shared with me their culture and festivities, and I happily gave them what I knew. I traveled by myself, of course. I occasionally went back to Rivendell to visit, but it was so boring to me, I only stayed a couple days every visit," she paused, "I was so happy with my traveling. I always looked forward to the next town I would find, but I didn't realize how long it had been and how much I had found I didn't stop searching for what I craved,"

Her eyebrows furrowed, "I soon came by a village that was run by men. They had never seen the light and beauty of an elf before. They enticed me with their wine and feasts, and the women were very kind. They gave me gowns of fine silk and fabrics, nothing I hadn't seen before, but it was the thought that I cared about. I left and thanked them for their kind gifts. I did not realize that I had followers when I rode out of the town and into the forest. When I got off from my horse, I was attacked. The men took advantage of me."

She took a breath and continued, "I escaped and made quick haste back to Rivendell, the vile words they said to me I still remember clearly. When I got back, I was plagued with nightmares of that day. I was a prisoner of my mind. My mother died soon after I got back home, and everyone was grief stricken. I later discovered that I was with child," she paused,

"I gave birth to a boy, but I could never get the thought out of my head that the child was holding me prisoner to my thoughts. In rage, I killed my newborn son thinking I could escape my thoughts. It was the worst mistake I ever made. No matter how long I live, I will never forget."

I stared at her pale face and felt grief for her. I spoke first, "What did the men say to you, Iawen?" I asked.

"They said it was my fault," She stood up and walked over to the balcony, "They said it was because of my appearance, my light and beauty. But beauty should not drive people to do such disgusting things."

Ah, this is why she dresses so modestly, because she still thinks it was her fault.

* * *

_**I am aware that elves die after they are raped, but this is my story.**_


	22. Verum Basium

Verum Basium

* * *

To my surprise, I didn't regret telling him. He hadn't really said much on what I shared with him, but I was just glad he didnt leave yet.

He joined me on the balcony, and I took a long breath in, "Do not pity me. It is over; it has already happened. There is no use dwelling on the past," I said.

He tilted his head, "I can see you have taken extra effort on not dwelling on the past," he remarked, clearly referring to the way I dress.

I glared at him, "Don't tie the way I dress into this."

"You still think it is your fault, so you dress modestly. It is not a very hard concept to grasp," he said.

Tears started falling down my face. I stood there looking at the railing with my head hung; trying my best to stop my crying, but they wouldn't stop. I felt strong arms surround me. He held me to his chest as he whispered to me in Sindarin.

"I want to forget," I said choking on my tears.

"I know," He whispered softly. He continued to whispered soothing things to me in Sindarin, I almost fell asleep right there.

"I want to forget, and to do that, I need to eliminate the things that are keeping me from walking away from the past. Hiding myself will not bring my son back," I said almost inaudibly, but Thranduil heard it.

* * *

It was the evening already; we had spent the whole day together in her chamber. Her room was now being illuminated by the moon and starlight.

"Hiding myself won't bring back my son," I heard her say as she turned away from me.

Her fingers went behind her ears to undo the ties from her mask. I didn't know how to feel, or what to expect.

She decided to do this so quickly, and she didn't seem sure of herself. I could see her hesitating. But we all must do things that we may not like that will help us in the future.

She pulled the tie on her left ear and she slowly moved to her right. I would finally be able to see the face of the elleth I loved so dearly. She pulled the tie on the right side. I saw the white fabric fall into her hands, she held it up and ripped it. She let go of the two pieces and let them drop to the floor. I heard her sigh and she turned around to face me.

I could see everything; I could finally see her smile, her lips curving up when she smirked, her teeth when she laughed. She was truly beautiful.

I didn't move as I looked at her; my mouth slightly open. I had no words to say to her, and if I tried, I wouldn't be able to. She smiled up at me and my heart melted. I didn't think I would ever see her delicate face.

She cocked an eyebrow, "Say something!"

I couldn't get over her beautiful smile, how she beamed up at me so easily. I was making her feel self conscious by staring at her, "Iawen, you have such a beautiful smile. Why would you ever want to hide it?"

She blushed, "Well, I am glad you like it."

* * *

He reacted in the way I wanted him to: barely at all. He saw beauty differently. He saw it in a way that made me appreciate him. I thought about him the whole two weeks I was still healing. When I thought I was dying, I thought about how I loved him, and now I love him even more.

He had shared his love with me. I wanted to also, but I just didn't know how to say it,

"I love you" I said suddenly.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist to move me closer. His thumb traced the side of my jaw down to my neck. I got chills instantaneously.

I reached out and touched the hand that was placed on my upper neck. I embraced him without hesitation. He was warm to the touch. He sent another wave of chills up my spine.

Our faces were now inches away from each other, and without warning his lips met with mine. I moved in and he pulled me closer. It was so blissful. He was so delicate.

He ran his fingers through my hair, and we parted from our kiss. I realized that he had probably wanted to kiss me for a while now, and he had been respectful, in a way.


	23. Finale

Finalé

* * *

"I love you."

"_Gi melin_, Iawen"

Two months later he asked for my hand in marriage, I hesitantly agreed. Rings were exchanged, feasts were held, and a year later we still wanted to be married. My second child was born soon after. He was beautiful, the same blonde hair as his father. We named him Legolas. I spent all the time I could with him, considering all the times Thranduil had to leave for work. I loved the elves I ruled over, I loved every part of being Queen, I loved ruling with Thranduil, I loved him. I couldn't ask for anything better.

I later had a daughter. She grew out of childhood happily, but became deadly ill and died. Her name was Gemdes. She too, held the features of her father. I fought along side my husband in many wars. I was known for this throughout Middle Earth. I became recognized not just as a Queen, but as one of the first elleth that fought aside the King in war.

Later on, the Greenwood forest became Mirkwood. It was plagued with black magic. That was the day I stopped leaving the castle. The world was becoming ill; evil wasn't just hiding anymore. The beautiful world I knew had slipped through my fingers.

Years past, and my existence became questionable to the outside world. I became a myth. Just something that might have happened. But instead of being known as kind and virtuous, the legend was that I was a dangerous and unforgiving Queen. I didn't mind, I knew it wasn't true.

The only thing that didn't change through the many years was my love for Thranduil.

* * *

_**Alright so this is the end. If you guys want me to do one shots of these two, all you have to do is ask! Thank you, and happy reading!**_

_**Coelacanthis**_


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